Monday, January 27, 2014

I'm THAT teacher.

Didn't you just love those jerk-faced teachers in high school that did punk moves like springing pop quizzes on you on Monday mornings? No? Just me? While most people would find a Monday morning pop quiz offensive at best, those of us that regularly spent our weekends studying found it an optimal way to prove that we were better at life (or school) than the other kids who probably spent the weekend painting the town red.

That being said, guess what you're about to get?

A MONDAY MORNING POP QUIZ!

Just because you're a good decade or two out of high school doesn't mean you shouldn't keep your skills sharp. You can thank me later when your mind fails you two years later than it would have otherwise. Because you can know that.

Since this is my blog, this quiz is going to be about me. Makes more sense that way.

QUESTION NUMBER ONE:

Which important cultural event did I stay up late watching last night?

A. The Grammys
B. The Bachelor Wedding: Sean & Catherine
C. Both-- I'm a mad channel-changer and flipped between the two all night.

Have you made your choice? Bubbled in your answer on the scantron using your #2 pencil? Great. Now you can check your answer.

If you picked A or C, I appreciate you thinking so highly of me. But you're wrong.


The correct answer is B, Catherine & Sean's "Grown Sexy" wedding. Eeeeek! It was so much fun. I have followed both of them on Twitter/Instagram ever since Sean's season, so I feel like I'm pretty invested in their journey to marriage. I enjoyed the special last night AND the wedding itself. I liked their quirky vows, the way you could actually hear Catherine's panicked heavy breathing as she walked down the aisle, and that Sean cried at least 200 times. Oh, and Catherine's earrings. I wanted to snatch them through the TV screen. I also appreciated that Chris and the gang managed to make Sean & Catherine's much-publicized choice to save sex for marriage seem fun and sexy and not weird and laughable. All in all, it was a good choice for my Sunday night TV. And let's be honest. I probably can't name a single singer or song that was featured on the Grammys because I only listen to NPR. So unless Mozart or Holst or the awesome Irish jig people they feature on Sundays from 1-2 were winning awards...I'd have been lost.

QUESTION NUMBER TWO:

On Sunday morning, Matt and I made an unplanned, unexpected $$$$ purchase for our home. And the dollar signs in the previous sentence do accurately represent the number of digits we had to spend on this purchase. What exciting item did we spontaneously decide we just couldn't live without?

A. New sofas.
B. New tile for the kitchen and laundry room.
C. New hot water heater.
D. New indoor pool for our pet manatee.

Think about this one carefully, people. Remember: cross off the ones you KNOW it can't be, then weigh out whatever's left.

If you picked C, you are obviously using the old 'if you don't know, just pick C' method that works 88% of the time (fake statistic), including this time. If you also think that I would much rather have had A, B, or D be the real answer...you're right about that, too.

Yeah. Being a grown up is SO FUN when you're going out to get in the car to go to church and you discover water leaking from your hot water heater onto the floor of your garage and laundry room. Oy vey.

Like any decent wife, I assessed the situation quickly: Looks like a mess. We're going to need a plumber. But I just put on a cute outfit, fixed my hair, and spent 20 minutes on my eye makeup. So obviously I headed on to church and Matt dealt with the boring and expensive stuff on the home front.

Throughout church I got exciting text updates like this:

Our hot water heater closet sans hot water heater.
 I know. Most exciting picture on my phone, probably.

So we have a new hot water heater. Woo hoo?? I'll be sure to feature it in my next home tour. 

And now an extra-credit question.

How much do plumbers get paid (for labor only) to make home visits on Sundays?

A. $20/hr
B. $500 flat rate 
C. $113/hr
D. $177/hr

The correct answer is, sadly, D. 

In other news, I'm going back to school to become a plumber and then I'm going to work for one hour a day. Holy crap. (heh heh) (although crap wasn't really the problem this time)

Other than the unscheduled and uber-exciting Sunday morning purchase, it was a fantastic weekend. 

QUESTION NUMBER THREE:

What fitness class did Matt join me for at the gym on Sunday?

A. Zumba
B. Tabata
C. Yoga
D. Step Aerobics

Go with your gut (or lack thereof) here. It's C! Don't you know-- the couple that yogas together stays together? I'm pretty sure that's a saying. Somewhere.

Naturally, being in a yoga class gave me flashbacks to our controversial discussion of two weeks ago. I thought about assessing and judging the choices of all the other folks in class, but ended up being too busy concentrating on trying not to tip over and start a domino-chain reaction. This just in: yoga requires the ability to balance. And about as soon as I'd get myself balanced, I'd catch a glimpse of Matt out of the corner of my eye. 

Laughter does nothing for your balance. But it's great for your heart.

Hope you did well on the quiz. If you didn't, don't come begging for extra credit. You should have studied harder and partied less. Better luck next time! ;)

26 comments:

  1. Ha! I missed yoga... way to go Matt! Sam would NEVER go to yoga... I mean I don't think he'd ever go to any class, but certainly not Zumba or Yoga. That sucks about your water heater! : ( Grown-up purchases are soooo lame... unless they're fun/new cars or vacations, otherwise, experience tells me they suck! Sorry you had to blow money on that! Glad to hear it didn't deter you from enjoying the rest of the weekend!

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  2. Sorry about the hot water heater. I HATE spending money on junk like that. Boo for adulthood and home ownership! :)

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  3. Colby and I used to do yoga together!!! Fun times :) Car/house expenses are the worst. ugh, hope it's fixed and you don't have to deal with that again anytime soon!

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  4. Ha! The quizzes cracked me up. Sorry about the big purchase - those unexpected ones for something like a dang water heater seem to hurt the most.

    I've got the wedding recorded on my dvr. Big plans to watch it tonight! And to think, I remember the days when you didn't watch The Bachelor! Proud of how far you've come :)

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  5. You're the third friend who has had to replace their hot water heater since the new year! What is going on with our GA homes? Keeping these plumbers in business, I tell ya...

    I actually watched - AND ENJOYED - the Grammy's! I'm not a big music person, but found the combos of highly unrelated musicians very interesting and fun.

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  6. ugh i hate spending money on responsible things. last week it was a dishwasher repair for us. so boring. yet, i do love having a dishwasher, so i guess it is worth it. ditto for hot water.

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  7. Your pop quiz was WAAAAY more fun than the one's I remember from school ;) Sorry to hear about your water heater :/ yikes! And 177?!?! I need to go back to school for plumbing!

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  8. Man, I loved the wedding so much last night. Like, I've been thinking about it way too much this morning and its beginning to worry me a little. Sean is just the cutest thing ever, and I was OBSESSED with his dad. They were such a great example of using things "of the world" to really share a message of faith and hope. And, YES, I love how you put it that they made their decision to wait seem "fun and sexy." YES. Good quiz girl.

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  9. I thought I would cry at their wedding- sine I pretty much weep at everything in the free world these days, but I didn't. I have no answer as to why though.

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  10. Well...yay for hot water, at least.
    Yoga is on our list to try, I'll have to remember that. I'm usually giggling out of control when I do a new exercise routine with J--I bet yoga will leave me hysterical.

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  11. Boo on the water heater! I, obviously, also watched Sean & Catherine tie the knot, and while I agree with you that it's cool they didn't mock them for their choice to wait until the wedding night, WHY did they have to spend so much of the show talking about it?! I felt extremely uncomfortable at least 67 times watching the show, and about 52 of those times were when Sean was shopping for lingerie for Catherine on national t.v. YIKES. But I still loved the special!

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  12. Dang, I was hoping he joined you for Zumba :-)

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  13. I dvr'd the wedding and can't wait to watch it this evening!! I feel totally invested in them too but I also read his sisters blog which is the best thing ever http://shullfamily.blogspot.com/ . I don't know how anyone makes it in the kitchen without her :)

    Stinks about the water heater..boo! Guess it couldn't at least come in a fashionable color or something? haha

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  14. Your blogs are always super fun to read! I needed this giggle today more than you will ever know! Sorry about your hot water heater! Being a grown up is no fun sometimes.
    I'm sure you and Matt had a ton of fun in yoga class! As soon as I read that ya'll went to yoga class, my mind went back to the Yoga undies discussion a few weeks ago. I want you to know... since that discussion, I have been super careful selecting the proper attire to wear under my yoga pants! Who knew, right?!

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  15. I missed the yoga m, but only because Tabata was highlighted I blue on my phone...tricky! i
    Dislike the hot water heater answer, but totally got that one right. Boohoo!
    At least your weekend ended on a good note. Too bad you weren't invited to the wedding...clearly you are the most "invested" twitter stalker.

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  16. Nice. I could NEVER get Derek to attend a yoga class with me!

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  17. The one time our hot water heater went out was also on a weekend...and we're so cheap we totally waited until Monday to get it fixed. :) I don't watch the Bachelor but I feel like I should just because everyone else does!!

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  18. I watched the red carpet of the grammys and then sean and catherine's wedding! I really enjoyed it too!!! I love reading this sister's blog and her kids were adorable! His dad did a great job and they were so obviously in love!!! All his crying had me crying even though I don't know them (but via instagram and twitter I totally do!)

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  19. I failed the quiz, but I'm hoping that allowing you to stay at my house will give me extra credit. If not, then I hope you enjoy sleeping in our dogs' kennel.

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  20. I aced the quiz! But I failed at life because I completely missed the bachelor wedding. Like didn't even DVR it. Face palm :(

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  21. I'm sorry you had to replace your water heater . . . the way you wrote about it was very entertaining, however and you made me smile here on this Tuesday morning in Minnesota . . . it's so cold here they have canceled school today. I can sometimes convince my husband to do yoga with me . . . and ditto on the bachelor wedding - I didn't even know it was happening. I am way out of touch!

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  22. Eeeekkkk...I don't even want to know what qualifies as cold enough to cancel school in Minnesota!!! Like 80 below or something??! My poor Georgia bones can't even handle the thought.

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  23. Hahaha! Man! I got all of them right except how much you pay a plumber! THAT IS CRAZY!!!!! Sorry you had to buy a new hot water heater! I hate having to buy things like that! LOL. But i mean... the alternative isn't so great either. :o(

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  24. Girl, you crack me up. Loved this post. Sorry about your water heater...bummer.

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  25. If I'd thought about it, I would not have put 'C' as my answer for number 1 because you've mentioned how much you LOVE NPR, but I forgot about that. Also have you followed Sean's sister's blog with her re-cap of the wedding??? Here's the link to her first post: http://www.shullfamily.blogspot.ca/2014/01/sean-and-catherines-wedding-part-1.html

    And I was really holding out for the new couches as your purchase while realistically guessing it was the hot water heater. Blah. On the flip side, you've had hot water all week :)

    And really, why couldn't Matt have joined you for all four classes? That would have been my choice!!!

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  26. In all of the questions, I admit I only got one right and that is the first one. Maybe it’s too obvious. Moving on, I’m amazed on how cheerful you were in facing a problem like plumbing. It’s a messy job and some women has the tendency to panic. But you did well. It’s a relief when it all ends well.

    Barry @ ThePlumberAbs.co.uk

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