Back in my freshman year of college, my roommate Hallie and I would have some awesome conversations during the wee hours of the morning, as we lay in our lofts, not really trying to fall asleep. Actually, these were some of my favorite conversations ever-- as evidenced by the fact that I still remember them (11 years later!!) and still laugh out loud thinking about them. Apparently as the hours got later, we got sillier...and our conversations sounded like something you might overhear drunken philosophy professors discussing. To put it kindly.
Anyway...and I promise I have a point that I'll get to eventually, just hang in there...one of our favorite concepts to ponder was regarding whether all people have some internal propensity to "be" something, but fail to ever be or do it because they never started down that track. OK that makes no sense. Probably because we never tried to make it make sense in words like this, we spoke mostly in examples. Like this: What if I'm a crackhead...but I've never tried crack, so I don't know it yet. What if I'm a world-champion lacrosse player?...but I've never played lacrosse, so I don't know it. So really it's more like what if I had the potential to be/do _________...but because I never took the first step towards that, I'll never know. Does this make sense? (If not, think about it again at 3 in the morning. You might have an aha! moment then. I always did.) I believe we came up with this concept based on the idea that some people are genetically (or whatever) inclined towards alcoholism...but if they never drink, then they never fulfill that potential. But it's still there, right? So for some reason, this line of thinking was hilarious to us. We would come up with lots of scenarios, imagining all of the things we might could be, even though we were nowhere near that. What if I'm a world-class igloo designer?...but I've never lived near the snow, so I will never know. What if I could write the best Italian sonnets in the world?...but I never learned to speak Italian.
Anyway. Forget that. Ever since those days, this concept has haunted me. And this week it's back with a vengeance. In a slightly more realistic sense.
Yall. I CANNOT stop looking at pictures and reviews of our resort in Cancun. CAN'T STOP.
(All images are from Expedia.com)
What if I'm addicted to expensive all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean?
YALL. I can't AFFORD to have that kind of addiction!!! But what if I do??! What if this is my gateway experience into a lifetime of craving luxurious vacations??! What am I going to DO?!!!
I am already finding myself entirely dissatisfied with my current life, as compared to my future life on vacation. Where's the pillow menu in my house? Where's the 24-hour room service? Why is no one following me around the yard, refreshing my drink? Seriously. I can't live like this! I need to be on vacation NOW! And FOREVER! Which is why I have a very real fear that I'll become addicted to Cancun and I'll be scraping together my pennies for the rest of my life, trying to go back. Ugh.
Anyway. I needed to get that off my chest. If you made it through those first few paragraphs of 18-year-old-girl nonsense, you deserve a prize. So here you go:
Yep. Just pretend that's me and Matt. ADDICTED.