Monday, June 10, 2013

...and sometimes, the internet is just wrong.

Awhile back we discussed how the internet can be creepy. It was the targeted ads, you know? How nowadays when you innocently go check out a cute dress on some web page (or want to be nosy and see how much other people pay for whatever item they're fashion-blogging about) and then all of a sudden that same dress/item shows up on EVERY AD YOU SEE on Facebook, Google, blogs, and like...everywhere? Yeah. Those internet robots and their marketing brains...creepy. Effective, I must say...because then I can never stop thinking about whatever it was...but kind of creepy. Creepy smart.

But then sometimes...I don't know what happens, but the internet just gets it WRONG.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I'm not sure where the internet robots are collecting their information, or how they do their analyzing, but someone needs to fix something. The internet has gone awry. 

The robots need to read my blog more carefully. Based on the ads I see, I definitely have to conclude they read my blog. As any self-respecting robot would. That's why all those ads for fitness programs/DVDs, fertility centers, Caribbean vacations, and sales on Cute Summer Dresses!!! are all pretty spot-on. High five, robots. I feel like we could be friends. You get me.

But I'm just not sure why you thought I would be interested in this:

Ummm....really?? Really, robots? 

1. I'm kind of a grammar snob. THERE ARE BLATANT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS AD. And you CAPITALIZED the offending word!!! Obviously you don't know me, or you would know that I would never shop somewhere that can't proofread their ads.

2.  These are totally hideous. I can't No, I do not consider lime green peep-toe heels with a bow-tied corset up the heel and a (zombie?) skull on the side to be a 'beautiful heel.' No one on earth does, actually. Most likely even the UNDEAD would scorn these. Because they are that ugly. Period.

3. 'Heels Zombies Wear'???! Are you implying that I am a zombie? I don't even get it. Zombies don't even wear heels. I don't even wear heels! Do you even know anything about zombies? I think not. Don't talk about what you don't know about.

4.  Why would you even show me this ad? Obviously you gleaned that I like the show Walking Dead...and one time I told a funny story about one of my students and zombies...but I think that's about the extent of my zombie blog history. That is not enough to assume one would be interested in those shoes.

In conclusion, those are the ugliest shoes I have ever seen and some robots think I am the kind of person who would actually like to wear them, so basically I'm winning at life and fashion today. The end.


  1. Those heels IS awesome! What's not to love?! With the perfect little black lacy, Zombie-like dress you'll look amazing! OOTD post...looking forward to it ;-)

  2. Ha ha this IS so funny!!!! I've never looked at the ads that show up on my blog... Now I'm curious. Thanks for the idea, you Zombie :)

  3. Oh Erika -- those heels IS beautiful! You could set a whole new target for your next Fashion Week with those are the starring feature :)

  4. This are so creepy! Heels zombies wear is ugly!

  5. Phew, I'm just glad to learn that if I really want zombie heels, they IS affordable- that's the bottom line!

  6. HAHAHA amazing. I am CREEPED OUT by the targeted ads thing too... they got it a little wrong this time though, ey? ;)

  7. Ouch, my eyes are burning from the hideousness that is those shoes! But you should probably still buy them because they might be the best white elephant gift I've ever seen.

  8. Bahh! Those shoes scream you in every way! Oh internet robots!

  9. Facebook ads are convinced that I need to become a 3D ultrasound tech. Totally, right?

    Those shoes are HOT. You'd be the only girl in town with the GUTS to wear them. Start a trend!

  10. It's like the advertisement knows you TOO well--bait and switch.
    1.) They know you're all about ridding the globe of grammar errors.
    2.) They know you're partial to green.
    3.) Zombies...umm...did you accidentally type zombie once?
    4.) For giggles. And to bait you to repost their advertisement in indignation, thus perpetuating the vicious cycle of those horrible shoes getting plenty of screen time.

    And since you're advertising for them now, you should get a share of the profits. Just saying. But would it be zombie-shoe-tainted-money? But zombie-shoe-tained-money would spend just well as Sephora as non-zombie-shoe-tainted-money.

  11. Hahaha, those are absolutely awful. Awful. I pretty much ignore those ads, but maybe I should pay more attention now!

  12. hahaha! my ads are often 'off' (baby formula, college programs, and free birth control to name a few) but not that off! ;-)

  13. I often end up with ads for Black People Meet, and Older Adults Meet... I'm not sure where I entered that I was a 60 year old black woman on facebook, but apparently I did.

  14. I don't even know where to begin with this. Those shoes IS hideous (hee hee)

  15. Can't really think of a good comment. All I can do is laugh. Hilarious.

  16. SO SO SO funny! Cracking up here. #1 especially.


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