Wednesday, August 14, 2013

confessing again

'Bout that time, eh? Let's get to it.

1. My getting-rid-of-dead-flowers issues haven't improved any this summer.

This little lovely is on the dresser in my bedroom. You know, where I see it at least 50 times a day. Not like...tucked away in some remote corner of a guest room where it's out of sight, out of mind...this is in the prime time, buddy. And yet...just look. That's nasty. Who lives like this??! While you're busy being disgusted at how gross I am, you can also spend a moment trying to sound out the titles of the books Matt reads for fun. Not even kidding. FOR FUN! This stuff is not even related to what he does for work. It's entirely possible that man is certifiably insane.

2. I bought some of this a few weeks ago to help me get rid of some plain vanilla ice cream I had lingering in the freezer:
It's entirely possible that it is the most delicious thing I've ever tasted in my entire life, and now that the vanilla ice cream is gone, I just eat it by the spoonful. I know. That's terrible, right? I almost considered getting some more ice cream so that I could be more socially acceptable. BUT- then I realized that really, putting it on top of ice cream is a LESS healthy choice. I mean, if I really couldn't care less about the ice cream, that's just a ton of wasted calories serving as a carrier for what I really want. So if what I really want is a couple amazing bites of salty caramel, then it's really healthier to a couple bites of salty caramel and leave the ice cream at the store. Right? Right. So there you have it: Diet Tips from Erika. (PS. Don't complain when you get fat. I have a hunch this is a terrible diet tip.) (P.P.S. I was answering some kind of survey or questionnaire the other day that asked whether my blog could be classified as 'healthy living' or a 'health' blog. I think that after this tip, I can confidently answer that question with a resounding YES.)

And now that we've established that I'm gross and fat, let's polish off the trifecta of awesomeness with a final confession: I am less technologically advanced than most 80 year olds, because...

3) On Sunday, August 11, 2013, at age 30 and a half, I downloaded iTunes for the first time.

I'm not even Amish.

I just managed to make it this long without something that pretty much everyone else in my generation has counted as critical for the last decade or so. And it wasn't even really intentional, the not-having-iTunes!! It wasn't like ohhh I hate iTunes, I'm NEVER going to sell out!!! was just like...I never needed it. Or cared enough to get it? Or something. Probably helps that until recently I've never owned an Apple product (yes, means that neither my husband or I have ever owned an iPod, which is probably equally shocking. How have we survived??!! Amazingly well, it seems), which makes it much easier to never 'need' iTunes. Even after getting an iPhone, I didn't have to get iTunes...until the Apple people needed to replace my phone, which meant that if I didn't backup everything on iTunes (or a CLOUD, whatever the heck THAT is) that I'd have to start over on my new phone. Which would obviously be dumb. But anyways. I felt like a cavewoman or something on Monday night when I had to Google 'how do you download iTunes?' But I did it, and managed to back up my phone and reload everything to the new phone, which was the whole point of it. I still have not used iTunes to listen to a song, so I'll hold on to that for awhile and hope that it lets me keep some of my street cred at the retirement home.

And I'm done. If we can still be friends after all of this, that would be great. You can come over and admire my dead flowers while we eat caramel sauce from the jar and listen to my eight-tracks. BEST DAY EVER!

PS. We have another appointment with the RE today to get test results for Matt. If you want to join us in praying that things go better than last time, that would be awesome.


  1. UGH, dead flowers, I have the same issue. And mine are sitting on the dining room table where EVERYONE can see them, so at least you keeps yours out of plain sight. For me, it's now that point where the water probably smells and I'll gag trying to clean the vase, so I just leave them. Because that seems like a better/terrible idea....

    (prayers coming your way!!)

  2. Praying, praying, praying! Keep me updated!!!

    And now I have a date with Trader Joe's to try this deliciousness!

  3. 1) I keep a fake orchid on my desk at work because I'm so bad about never throwing away the ones that look like yours above...I'd leave them there for weeks after they had long since seen their final days and I got tired of cleaning up all the debris they left behind on the desk (and I hated the stench when I finally dumped them out). I get more compliments on the faux flower than I ever got on any real plant I tried to keep alive.

    2) Is there a Trader Joe's near you?! I desperately wish they would put one up near us...driving 40+ minutes to our nearest TJ's is such a nuisance. I could do with one less Publix around here if it meant having a Trader Joe's instead.

    3) Thanks for this confession. It makes me feel better. I only own an iPod because my husband bought me one for a Christmas present (I've never used it); I don't have an iPad or iPhone, and the only reason we have iTunes on the computer is because it came with some other software we downloaded. I have no idea how to use it, though. I'd like to think I get around pretty well on the computer, but I've just never gotten into Apple products for no good reason at all. And now they kind of intimidate me. Geez, that really does make me sound old...

    (P.S. - good luck today! You two are in my thoughts!!)

  4. 1) You could always claim creativity instead of laziness. You aren't throwing your dead flowers away--you are creating a *cough* beautiful dried flower display! Didn't that used to be an artform or something?

    2) Your diet plan sounds a lot like mine. "Gee, I really don't want to collapse into tears when I have to step on the scale at the doctor's in a few weeks. But I know just how to calm my fears! Dark chocolate chunk oatmeal cookies with walnuts!" (The oatmeal and the walnuts count for something, right?)

    3) I am 1.5 years older than you are, and I've never owned anything Apple and as such have never had iTunes either. (This isn't because I am anti-Apple--just cheap. I may or may not regularly use an mp3 player I bought on Amazon for 10 bucks.) Thank you for being a torch-bearer for the rest of us old fogies living in the Dark Ages!

    (P.S. Praying, praying, praying)

  5. I am running to Trader Joe's tonight! My iPhone keeps telling me "my cloud is full". Every time, my immediate reaction is "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??????". Ha, maybe Apple's about to make it rain?

  6. I do the same thing with flowers. I think its because I try to enjoy them for as long as possible. That and I am lazy.

    Could you use apple slices as a vessel for your caramel sauce?


  7. Confession: I have apple products and have no idea how to access my cloud or what's in my cloud. I actually get paniky when people start talking about the cloud.

  8. I am impressed you went this long without iTunes!

    P.S. Praying!!

  9. Boldly praying for you guys!

    I am not a can of caramel but have known to do the same exact thing with hot fudge, and chocolate chips, and chocolate flavored peanut butter if that counts!

  10. As always, you are hilarious! :) Thanks for linking up! *Praying for good news today!

  11. I'm very impressed you lived without Itunes this whole time!

  12. I am seriously considering going to TJ's asap to buy caramel sauce!


  13. Hope you got really, really great results today!!!

    Also - ACTUARIAL SCIENCE?! Seriously?! OMG, I feel really dumb!

  14. OMG. My husband reads these kinds of books. Well, not THOSE, per se, but other crazy difficult books that he reads FOR FUN. I kind of slightly wish he would go back to school b/c then all his "for fun" studying could go towards a degree (neither of us got our degrees - and i don't want to go get mine - i hate school - but he would be really good at it!! Haha!). Anyway,

    I suck at throwing away plants once they die, too. I don't know why!

    I hate itunes, it took me FOREVER to get it, too, and even now, i don't exactly know how it all works...... ?!

    I saw your instagram, which means you got AMAZING news today at the RE?!?!!?!? :)

  15. It might make you feel less gross to know that I used to do the same thing with mayo... yep, I would dip my finger in and eat it straight up on its own. Classy and nutritious.

    Praying for good results!!

  16. I am the worst at setting something in an obvious spot so that I will remember to take care of it and then continually walking past it and ignoring it. You would think at some point it would just be easier for me to take out the trash rather than walk around it again... yeah, no! :)

    Listen, I saw your instagram post earlier and am so thankful that you got good news. The problem is that seeing that put all of us on edge to find out what it is, so I created a survey for you.

    How excited are you to know what good news Erika got today?
    1. I'm happy for Erika, surely she'll share at some point what the news is.
    2. I'm SO HAPPY for Erika, girl better be telling us asap what the news is!

    Off to refresh... hope y'all have a good night!

  17. My alstromeria were dropping petals all over the piano In. Our. Living. Room. for a week before I got rid of them. Oh, and the water was a gross, slimy green too. Same with the snapdragons sitting on my desk where my computer is. And we all know I never ever spend time at my computer. Hoarding Way Beyond Dead Flower Bouquets Women Unite (HWBDFBWU is pretty catchy, isn't it???)

  18. Why did you need a new phone? Did the other one break? Glad you got it figured out and have joined the "new" age of technology! ;)

  19. "BUT- then I realized that really, putting it on top of ice cream is a LESS healthy choice. I mean, if I really couldn't care less about the ice cream, that's just a ton of wasted calories"

    I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing but your logic makes so much sense to me.
    I do the same w/ peanut butter & marshmallow fluff why use bread to sandwich the two spreads when all one wants is the toppings? Totally save calories that way. Totally.


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