Like...really important?
And the knowledge just sits inside you, deep in your soul...and you wish everyone knew...but no one does? Until finally one day you decide to just up and UNLEASH THE KNOWLEDGE on everyone, come what may?
I bet it would be awesome if that Deep and Burning Knowledge were about something really awesome or important. In my case, it almost never is. So sorry if I got your hopes up or anything. I just have three really semi-ordinary, unrelated, and probably-only-important-to-me things to share.
THING #1:
**Apostrophes NEVER EVER make a word plural.**
I feel like the world has been repeatedly assaulting my eyes with this heinous error lately. Sometimes I can let it go. Sometimes it makes me want to stab my eyes repeatedly. This week I've been in stab-mode. So let me just clear this tiny grammatical detail up for you: YOU NEVER NEED AN APOSTROPHE TO MAKE A WORD PLURAL. It's never gonna be two adorable bunnie's or getting drinks with your best friend's. We're not sad on Monday's because Bachelorette is over, ladies. We're sad on Mondays. I almost just went into a related-but-trickier sub-rant regarding pluralizing names that end in -es, but decided to skip it JUST SO THAT maybe this original point can sink in a little deeper. Please. Make a commitment now-- TODAY!!-- to never ever succumb to the temptation to throw in an apostrophe in hopes of making a word plural. It doesn't help, and no apostrophe deserves that. So please. And thank you.
THING #2:
**You do not want to get attacked by a shark in Cancun.**
I know. Most likely your greatest Cancun fantasies involve getting attacked by sharks, but let me be the first to tell you: YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. Trust me. It's Shark Week, and I've been taking notes. Note #1- You can run a lot longer on a treadmill when there are shark shows on. Note #2- DO NOT GET ATTACKED BY A SHARK IN CANCUN. You may recall that I'm going to Cancun in the near future. Perhaps that is why this particular story stuck out to me. But listen up. I'm serious. This poor lady heard guys shouting frantically at her from jet skis (NOT jet ski's, please note!) but they were yelling in Spanish, which she didn't understand, AND THEN SHE GOT ATTACKED BY A SHARK. And like that wasn't bad enough, then when the jet ski guys jetted her up to the shore, THEN IT TOOK 45 MINUTES FOR AN AMBULANCE TO GET THERE. Like...party foul, Cancun. NOT COOL. And THEN the surgeons (saved her life BUT) did a super crappy job replacing chunks of skin and stuff and then she got flown back home to Canada and went to a doctor there and THEN THEY HAD TO AMPUTATE ANYWAY!!! So like she was on an airplane with her leg rotting off. AWESOME. So I think the moral of this story is that a) you should at least learn a few key words like 'shark' and 'stop' and 'help' in Spanish (which I do, so I'd like to think I'm one step ahead here), and b) you should not get attacked by a shark in Cancun.
My deepest apologies for the abundance of all-caps yelling in the previous paragraph, but I feel really strongly about this.
And finally:
THING #3:
**Swimming pools are hiding everywhere.**
What? Swimming pools? Hiding? How could you hide a swimming pool?
All legitimate questions. All things I myself would have questioned. Until I went swimming in a hidden swimming pool on Tuesday.
This particular swimming pool happens to be hiding in the shared basement of two very ordinary, old, seemingly-normal University buildings- Marine Science and Dance. Right in the middle of UGA campus. Spittin' distance from a dorm I lived in for a year. And NEVER EVER did I have a clue that there was a giant pool in the basement of it! And apparently neither did anyone I've talked to about it, either. Only the employees of the building know, which is how I came to discover it. Two of my friends work in that building now, and apparently the employees are let in on the secret-- and given keys and permission to swim as they like. They were nice enough to invite us over for a post-work swim. I swear, to FIND the pool? It was like living some epic adventure movie, like Lord of the Rings or something. Not that I've ever stayed awake through that entire movie, but I'm pretty sure it involved a long journey to find something. So it is with this pool. Down a twisty hallway, hang a right and go down the rickety stairs...go through the 1920s-esque 'locker room', AND THROUGH THE SHOWERS THEMSELVES, and then there is a locked door. Get your employee-friend to open the locked door, and danged if there isn't a giant indoor pool inside what you probably assumed would be a roachy utility closet. Craziest thing ever.
It was like walking through a time portal. I have no idea when this pool was built, but it reminded me of the pool in the Biltmore House...have you ever been there? I haven't been since 4th grade, but I remember that pool like it was yesterday, and this reminded me of it. And I just spent 10 minutes Googling and could not find a THING about this pool, which proves exactly how hidden and secret it really is. The locker room and lockers must have been built at the same time as the pool...I took a shot of Matt in there:
Secret pools.
Shark attacks in Cancun.
The most offensive way to abuse an apostrophe.
Now YOU are the keeper of this knowledge. Use it well, friends.
Amen about the apostrophes. Or should I say apostrophe's?
ReplyDeleteI get extra worked up about apostrophes at Christmas when people start sending out their Christmas cards... "Merry Christmas from the Smith's!"
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, pretty sure I'd never want to have surgery anywhere in Mexico.
I feel like I am really special now that you have told me about these secrets. And also really hoping I haven't been one of the ones driving you nuts with a misplaced apo'strophe :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, stay away from sharks. You obviously already know this since you didn't include baby sharks in your baby animals poll.
I wonder where I might be able to find a hidden swimming pool. That would be extremely cool.
Ah! Thing #1. Thank you, thank you for sharing that. That drives me crrrazy!!!
ReplyDeleteI think the shark week needs to add a special series on how one says SHARK ATTACK in different languages...it could honestly save lives and limbs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the PSA on apostrophes, scary pools and sharks... so much knowledge for a Thursday morning.
How funny that Georgia has hidden pools! Never knew. And it does look like the Biltmore pool. Was there an old school bowling alley too?
ReplyDeleteYou're post's alway's enlighten the group's of people who need it most! Thank you so much for sharing. You make Thursday's amazing...and Friday's too! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI am still jaw-on-the-floor shocked about this pool. I lived right next door (Soule), walked past it to eat almost every meal, and had no idea! So strange. I also can't help but wonder how weird it sounds to other people that the Dance building and Marine Science building share a basement.
ReplyDeleteHuh?!? Secret pools? In basements? At UGA? Totally confused. I too was not in on this secret. And though I work for UGA, I have not been given said key... lame!
ReplyDeleteWhat you said is true about apostrophes. But you do know that an apostrophe at the end of a word can make a plural word possessive, right?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your first bit of knowledge. I hate to be the only grammar stickler, mostly because I sound like some obnoxious English teacher every time I open my mouth.
ReplyDeleteEvery time someone asks me how I'm doing, I say "I'm WELL," in a super obnoxious way. Stop saying, "I'm good," you morons. Hopefully I rub off on at least one person.
Thank you, thank you for bringing the plight of the apostrophe to the masses. This is an issue that must be taken seriously!
ReplyDeleteSharks...freak me out!
Secret basement pools...awesome!
I am TOTALLY a punctuation geek, so I loved the apostrophe part. That said, I do make mistakes sometimes, so if you ever find one on my blog, help a girl out and send me an email. It's the online equivalent of telling me I've got spinach in my teeth.
ReplyDeleteYES for the apostrophe knowledge! I also think people need to learn how to use quotation marks.
ReplyDeleteOMG I REALLY don't want to get attacked by a shark in Cancun!! And I really want a pool in my basement :)
ReplyDeleteOh LORD the grammatical errors that plague social media. Apostrophes kill me. I'd like to say it's mainly the high school church youth Facebook friends who are repeat offenders, but there is a plethora of adults who just can't seem to get their/they're/there act together.
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ReplyDeleteI'm feeling really awesome right now because I knew about the secret pool! Most of the dance students do really...you don't spend four years changing in a skanky old locker room without finding out what's behind THAT door. We never used it though, so I'm totally jealous you did! Also to get to the pool on the dance side, you have to walk through the ladies locker room, so you'd just hope and pray some random guy wouldn't stroll through while you were buck naked, yanking on your tights. Ahh, memories!
ReplyDeleteI'm in shock about the pool in the basement! Doesn't it make you wonder if there are any other pools we don't know about at UGA? I was a business major so the majority of my time was spent on north campus. Where is the dance building and marine science building?
ReplyDeleteYa'll this is the original PE Building for UGA, hence pool. I've talked to adults who went here in the 70s (note NO apostrophe being abused there) and they well remember this pool. It's only us "young-uns" who had no clue due to the advent of the Ramsey Center. ;)
ReplyDelete@Lauren-- Dance/Marine Science are right across from the Myer's Quad, next to Snelling!! Right in the middle of the action!
ReplyDeleteOh! I hate when people plural with an apostrophe. They don't realize they're now using what is used to show possesion? Ugh!
ReplyDeleteAnd hidden swimming pools? Cuhrazy! That's partially hilarious, partially what on earth? Makes me wonder if all college campuses hide a huge swimming pool...just maybe?
Christmas.season.is.painful.with.misused.apostrophes!
ReplyDelete'nuff said.
I consider my life richer with the knowledge of how to properly use an apostrophe, and I'll be printing it off and posting it in my office.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who puts apostrophes EVERYWHERE in her sentences in her blog & it really just about kills me. Basically if there is a word that ends in 's', she will put an apostrophe in front of it. I REALLY HOPE SHE READ THIS POST! Haha!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for telling me about not getting attached by sharks in Cancun. THANK YOU! :)
And yay for hidden swimming pools! :)
This line: "While I am normally not a fan of places that are creepy, old, and probably have asbestos..." made me LAUGH OUT LOUD hilarious! That secret pool is awesome!
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