Thursday, November 14, 2013

distractions

Distraction has been the name of the game this week. I mean, why deal with complex emotions and difficult situations when you can just pretend they don't exist? Exactly. I love how that terribly useful and profitable psychology degree comes in handy during times like this. Distract yourself! Deny anything bad happened! Deal with it later!! Winning At Life 101.

SO! How have we been passing the time on this lovely week off? On Tuesday I made the very wise and spontaneous decision to go get a massage. See, Matt wanted to go shopping at a tool store and I wasn't really in the mood-- BUT it just so happened that the tool store is located RIGHT NEXT DOOR to Massage Envy. I'm pretty sure that was some smart thinking on some developer's behalf: let's see, Jones...we need to balance out this strip mall. If we put a giant ugly tool store right here, what should we put next door? What will entice women to come along while their husbands ogle chainsaws? Bingo. Massage place. Brilliant.

I took my chances on it being the middle of the day on a work day and hoped I'd get a walk-in appointment. I did and it was so wonderful I can't even describe it. I may or may not have asked the girl doing my massage to move in/marry me/never stop. I don't even feel guilty about it, although she turned me down on all three counts (slightly bruised ego, but I've felt worse pain this week so I'll let it slide). Now I am busy scheming how I can drum up the $$$ (or work it out as a birthday/Christmas gift) for a Wellness Membership there. I know. Can you imagine anything as awesome as getting a massage EVERY MONTH? That there is something to live for. 

Have you ever known someone (or maybe this is you personally?) that shopped/budgeted out of a 'savings' mentality? Maybe there's a better term for it, but this is what I mean: "Oh my gosh!! I saved $200 on this dress! Now I can buy shoes, too!" Like...regardless of how much money they ACTUALLY have or have actually BUDGETED for shoes/dresses, these people tend to base their decisions on the hypothetical money they've "saved" and then re-spend that money? Does that make sense? Now this sort of works out if, say, you have a set $400 you're going to spend on clothes today/this month/whatever. Now if you go out and the dress you wanted really is $200 off and so you get it for $200 (then a) you are too rich for me; who spends that kind of money on clothes?), then I guess it's true that you really do now have $200 left to spend on shoes or whatever. But I notice that the people who do this generally don't have an actual budgeted amount of money to spend...they just tend to notice the 'savings' and then re-spend that. 

I'm probably making no sense. But let's move on.

This week I feel like I'm totally operating out of this 'spend your savings' mindset. Which is totally not "me" at all. But there it is. The thing is, we just spent weeks crunching numbers, redistributing funds, and totally re-working our budget in order to allow for the baby and her super pricey needs (primarily childcare, formula, and the increased cost of our health insurance). We had to work hard to free up a LOT of cash to fund those things.

But now?

No baby. No childcare. No formula.

WHATEVER SHALL WE DO WITH ALL THIS MONEY!?!??!?!

Despite the fact that we earned the exact same amount this month as we did all the other months prior to this, suddenly I am RIIIICCCCCHHHH...because I won't have all these expenses that I'd budgeted for? It's really weird. But anyway. This is how on Tuesday I decided it was totally no big deal to go for a massage and follow it up with a minorly major shopping spree at Ulta. I mean, remember last week (oh gosh, was this only last week?) when I mentioned that I was converting all money into Cans of Formula? Well now I'm still doing that, only since I don't actually have to buy any more formula, it's like all the money is FREE FREE FREE. And a massage is only 3 cans of formula, so like...yeah. 

In conclusion, you should not ask me for any help with your budgeting anytime in the near future. We're going to require a Dave Ramsey intervention at some point.

In the spirit of spontaneity and distraction, I also decided that there is no time like the present for that living room renovation I've been thinking about since spring. I've been planning to ask for painters to paint the living room for my birthday present since I hate painting with the passion of 1000 fiery suns, but...well, whatever. If I wait til then, the Christmas decorations will be up and who wants to have to paint around a Christmas tree? No one, that's who. And I have nothing else to do this week, so LET'S PAINT THE LIVING ROOM!

That's why at 10:00 Tuesday night my living room looked like this:

  
Wow, this is probably the blurriest and worst picture on earth. Thanks, iPhone! Anyway, all the furniture was smushed in the middle of the room (including the PIANO, which Matt and I moved BY OURSELVES!!!!! Who needs a gym, anyway?), we taped the baseboards and vacuumed the cobwebs/dog hair off the walls (that is so gross, makes me feel like I've been living in a haunted house or something), and were totally prepped to wake up early Wednesday (you know, 10 a.m.) and get 'er done.

And we did!! By 10 p.m. we had two coats of paint completed, tape removed, outlet plates replaced, and furniture back- but in a slightly different configuration.

See...we still have the glider coming. Womp womp. Yeah, the one we special ordered for the nursery. I've been dreading the phone call telling me it's in and we have to go get it and then what the heck will we do with it since we clearly don't have a baby to rock in it? There's nothing I hate like spending a lot of money on a piece of furniture I'll never use and that will make me sad...

So I decided that we absolutely just HAD to find a way to put the glider in the living room. If we put it back in the nursery, I'd lose my mind. If we put it in the living room, it will be a fun and comfy new piece of furniture and it will be used and appreciated, with or without a baby. So while we painted, I brainstormed how we could free up a spot for a lovely new glider to have a home. (Luckily we ordered the glider in a dark gray fabric so it will match just fine.)

Luckily inspiration struck and with a few crafty maneuvers (turning a bookcase into a bookcase slash TV stand, meaning we got rid of the old TV stand and moved the bookcase to the TV 'spot' and then shifted a different bookcase down the wall and NOW THERE IS A FREE SPOT FOR THE GLIDER next to the fireplace) we have a fun and slightly re-mixed living room with room for our chair when it arrives!


 I seriously don't know what I did to make all these pictures so bad, but you get the idea. Now the room is a nice light gray (blue undertones) and feels so much brighter and more open!! I LOVE the new color...and am now in the market for a new rug because I'm sick of the old one, obviously. 


There's Matt in his PJs just now. Real life, people. But see how now the bookcase is holding the TV? Genius, right? (Go here to see roughly how it used to look)



The dining room chair is holding the place for the glider. Lola's portrait will hang over the glider...we just want to wait til it arrives so that we know how to place the picture. But I'm excited to have some new seating in the living room! Hopefully it won't stick out too much...but whatever. Who cares.

So anyway. Now that the walls are painted I am ready to start thinking about decorating for Christmas. In the past I never used a lot of greens, since the whole ROOM was green already and I didn't want stuff to clash/have too much of a good thing...but now I can! So I think I need to craft up some new stuff because it won't be long til it's socially appropriate to start decorating!

And thanks still for all of your continuing support and love. I seriously think that yall's prayers and support are the only reason we're functioning well enough that we can think about things like redecorating and holiday crafting right now. And that instead of losing my mind over the impending arrival of the glider, I was able to make an actual plan for it that doesn't make me sad? That's a miracle, people. So thank you so much for that. 

On a final and unrelated note, I think it's important that you know that my phone auto-corrects anything starting with 'ma' or 'ms' or anything else near those letters to "mwahahahaha." For real. And most of the time it's appropriate. I'm glad that iPhones can appreciate evil laughter as much as I do. The end.

36 comments:

  1. Wow!!! Your living room looks A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, and as someone who has recently spent a lot of time painting, I cannot believe you got it all done in ONE DAY! You guys are seriously my heroes :)

    And yes, I totally shop out of the "savings mentality." For instance yesterday I got three shirts for $3 off each and then spent the "savings" on a perfect Christmas tree ornament today. And I still have $4 to spend on something else. Whoo hoo! (Let's not talk about the fact that the three shirts weren't in the budget in the first place. sigh.)

    And also, I think the first blog post of mine you ever commented on was confirming the fact that it is hard to take pictures of living rooms. And look at us now :) I will see if I can find anything interesting/funny/weird on the internet to send to you so you can keep distracting yourself since I like that philosophy for getting you through right now.

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  2. LOVE the new color! So glad you both are taking the time to take care of yourselves. Tools, massage, makeup, and painting? Sounds perfect right now! So much love and prayers for you both. *mwah...hahahahahahaha*

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  3. I love the new color. Great job! You are inspiring. I love your humor and I am glad you are distracting yourselves in a good way. Will continue to pray for you all.

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  4. Ooh, I LOVE the room! It looks so great! Also, I wish I had never known that massage places had memberships. Now I need to go repent of my covetousness (toward whoever these unknown people are who actually pay for things like that).

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  5. I am the Queen of Distractions. Brandon has now figured out that I create busywork whenever I'm trying to avoid something. I told him that he is a business major and to stay out of my psych books. Ha.

    I'm glad you found a way to make the glider work. I pretty much laid in bed bawling while Brandon "fixed" things. He's a fixer and I'm a gooey puddle. It happens.

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  6. It's great that you've been able to redirect your energy into some projects. I think changing the space in which you spent so much time day dreaming and planning about the baby will help you transition out of that mindset and back into daily life eventually. Don't fret about the extra spending, especially for self-care items like a massage. You're grieving, you deserve some extra TLC. No one is worried that you've become some baller spender. Still praying for you!

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  7. Whoaaa... caffeine much? That post made me feel super lazy! I was imagining you lying around watching Netflix and here you are accomplishing BIG STUFF like redecorating, and painting... like 10 times more than I've accomplished this week!

    I'm sooooo glad that you got a massage! You DESERVE it! Did Matt get some super cool tools for him to get excited about?

    Glad to hear from you! Still praying! Love you, friend!

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  8. Been thinking about you lots and still praying for healing for your heart and mind! Love the new color, btw! Glad you have some time off to be together, to hug, encourage, laugh and cry!!

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  9. Your living room looks great. What a difference color can make in the feel of a space. It looks brighter and bigger! We are prepping our LR and hallway for painting and I look forward to how clean it will feel after!
    Just want you to know I'm thinking of you constantly and praying often. There are no words to adequately how sorry I am for your loss. I so, so sorry, Erika and Matt. xoxo

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  10. First, I would like to express my anger at the fact that blog feeds are misbehaving this month (mine included) and that your posts aren't showing up in my feed in a timely fashion. Good thing I'm not too lazy to type in your blog address manually and check in that way.

    Anyway, I'm glad you and Matt are finding ways to make the most of your time this week. You are both still on my mind all throughout the days, and it gives me some relief to know you have found a few things to make you smile!

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    1. Yea, what's up with that? Erika showed up in my dashboard feed 47 minutes ago, and you haven't shown up yet! What the heck blogger?

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  11. I've been thinking about you and Matt all week and am so glad to hear you've been keeping busy. Like seriously busy... I'm impressed!! Your living room looks great and I love the idea of putting the glider in there. You may have just inspired me to do some rearranging...

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  12. Love the new color... Distraction can be a beautiful thing. Side Note - as a person who LOVES massages I have contemplated that if I had the budget and time to get a weekly or even monthly massage would they lose their allure. Kind of like if you had Thanksgiving dinner every week it would not be as special... BUT then again I do not think that a good massage would ever get old.

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  13. Still thinking of you and praying lots. If you find yourself out and about today, Starbucks is having a BOGO deal through Sunday--that's more extra money for you to spend!

    Love the new living room color! We repainted our kitchen for the 500th time this spring and settled on a color pretty similar to what you have. If you find a nice cute rug, let me know! We're still looking for one to "tie the room together" :) And I have also decided that you need to come to IL and be my personal makeup shopper because I am totally clueless and get sort of twitchy in stores like Ulta and Sephora, though I think I could really use their help.... :)

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  14. LOVE the new color. I'm a big fan of gray as a wall color. It's the perfect neutral.

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  15. The room looks great! So glad you are staying busy! Next post will be on everything you bought from Ulta I hope? Hugs!

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  16. I love the new color! The living room looks so cozy too. I totally understand what you mean about "distractions". After I completed a round of IVF and found out I was pregnant...and then later found out I was miscarrying I found myself laying in bed all day...so I decided to get up and start refinishing some old furniture in our storage unit :) It took days and helped clear my mind. I have a room I need painted if you ever want to visit southern illinois....lol!

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  17. Love the new color!! Everything looks great! Ok so I have never had a massage mainly because I don't want some stranger touching me BUT you may have convinced me to change my mind, it sounds like it was wonderful for you!! Glad you and Matt are able to spend this time together. Ya'll have been and still are in my prayers :)

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  18. I love your tangents/ hypothetical situations. They brighten up my day. :) repress away. Nothing 'really' wrong with it.... For a little while anyway. Love how the new living room looks!

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  19. Great job with the living room, girl! I'm so proud of you- you are doing such a great job. Thinking of you... XOXO

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  20. As much as I also hate painting, I do agree it'll definitely get your mind off of anything else! The room looks great! My bedroom is actually a similar color to your living room and I've been debating about repainting- I think I'm sold!

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  21. Your savings explanation makes perfect sense and had me laughing while at work today! The living room looks GREAT! I really like the new color.

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  22. That living room reno seriously looks amazing. AND, that's very clever use of a glider.

    Massage = 100% justifiable. I vote yes on getting the monthly membership.

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  23. Your living room looks fantastic! Painting and redecorating is great therapy. Not as great as a shopping spree and a massage though, so keep on doing those too. Your budget explanation kicks Dave Ramsey's to the curb. I would way rather buy into Erikanomics!

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  24. You deserve the treats! Dave Ramsey would agree. Or he can go suck it.

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  25. I've been thinking of you guys constantly. I'm so glad you are treating yourself. The living room looks so bright and sunny now, and I have to agree that a membership to get a massage a month sounds like heaven.

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  26. Wait, it's not socially appropriate to decorate yet?? Uh Oh...
    Your new color looks great! Isn't it amazing how a different color can change the whole look of the room?
    Continuing to pray for you!

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  27. "Oh my gosh!! I saved $200 on this dress! Now I can buy shoes, too!" . . . . oh my . . . . that is how I think . . . . goodness . . . .c*ap . . . . how bad it that?
    Love the new living room color. Hmmmmmm where to start looking for that rug to tie it together? WestElm?

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  28. Love the new look! I think it is totally normal and acceptable to distract yourself with projects and purchases for a while. Whatever helps you keep putting one foot in front of the other, ya know? And I love the idea you guys have for the glider. . . perfect. You are an inspiration!! Praying for you daily, friend. :)

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  29. The room looks great! And I think your coping mechanisms are (a) totally normal and (b) clearly therapeutic, so keep it up :)

    Also, I think it's funny that your friend above censored the word "crap" in her comment :)

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  30. Love the color! I use your new budgeting tactic on calories. Oh, look, I had broccolli for lunch...now I can get some buy one get one Christmas joy at Starbucks, and drink them BOTH myself...no wonder my pants don't fit ;)

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  31. Love that color! I was on a grey kick when I painted the spare room and I keep thinking about doing the same thing to our front room. Not sure Matt will be on board for that. Um a massage once a month??? Sign me up!!!!!

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  32. Yay for massages. And pedicures! The new living room looks fantastic and is inspiring me to get off my own behind and get some painting done!

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  33. I just found your blog from Kelly's Korner, and read through your last few posts. I am so heartbroken for you. I will be praying for your heart to heal, and that you get your baby that you so deserve.

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  34. I am so impressed -this looks amazing!

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