Friday, July 9, 2010


I've shared my thoughts on marriage a lot lately, I feel like. Or maybe it's just that I think about it a lot. At any rate, I feel like my eyes and my brain are always searching out and categorizing marriages I see and hear about. I'm looking for inspiration-- for tidbits to cling to, to tuck away for future reference. I'm looking for what not to do. I'm a hoarder of marriage information, I guess you could say. The good and the bad.

This morning I wanted to quickly share with you a story that will melt your heart and show you a picture of what I think God really had in mind when he created marriage.

When I was in high school and college, Jessica was one of my very best friends. Our whole group of friends (band-related, mostly...therefore awesome) tended to congregate at her house all the time because a) she was an only child and therefore we were unbothered by any other siblings, and b) her parents were the best. Steve and Judi were like everyone's second parents. They couldn't have been happier that at any given time there were 7 teenagers eating all their food, drinking all their Diet Cokes, and lounging all over their furniture. Many of my fondest (and silliest) memories take place in Steve & Judi's living room.

A little over a year ago, Judi was in a horrible motorcycle accident. The kind where it's a miracle she left the scene alive. The kind where she spent months in the hospital in a basically vegetative state. Head injuries. Spinal injuries. A thousand broken bones. Truly the stuff nightmares are made of. One minute she's a thriving wife, mother, and nurse, and the next...this. Talk about turning your world upside down.

Steve and Jess started a blog right after the accident to keep family and friends informed. Through Steve's honest and real posts, I've watched Judi make gains and losses, progress and have a setback. I've seen a family willingly give up almost everything they knew for the sake of their mom and wife. Last week was Steve & Judi's 30th wedding anniversary. In his blog yesterday, he related that they had always planned to make a big trip to Alaska to celebrate their 30th. Obviously that can't happen right now, and he tried to explain it to Judi (who is unable to speak) and thought that she understood. And when he told how they spent their anniversary instead, I couldn't help it-- I was bawling.

THIS is marriage, friends. THIS is a man committed to his wife-- for better or for way, way worse. Steve's commitment to Judi-- to praying for her, to doing whatever it takes for her to make progress, to being with her and surrounding her with love...this is what it's all about. I can only hope that if I were in a similar situation that my faith and my devotion would be as strong.

I've been unusually comforted and inspired by a passage from Lamentations this week. I know...Lamentations? Not usually the place I look for comfort and inspiration, right? Well as I've been reading this I suffering is not NEARLY this bad. And so although I still try to cling to the hope that Jeremiah describes, in a way I feel like I can't really relate because I haven't suffered anything like this. It's like I'd be way over-dramatic to think my "suffering" was really that bad. As I read it this morning, though, thinking about Steve and Judi...I don't think this would be an exaggeration for them. They have truly (and are still) suffered. But I feel like Steve's words have encouraged me in much the same way this passage has: check it out. (PS these are random excerpts, with my own emphases added. Check out Lamentations 3:17-33 for the full text).

Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is...I cry out, "Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!"...I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease...I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!"...The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him...For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love.

Anyway...those are some random thoughts I had this morning, but if you have a minute, would you pray for Steve & Judi? She has come such a long way, but she has a very, very long journey ahead of her. They need a lot of strength, and they certainly wouldn't turn down a miracle.


  1. Absolutely agree with everything you posted. I too have been following the blog and we've been praying...

  2. Oh my....I had no idea!

    I'll be praying for their family!


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