Tuesday, April 9, 2013

island of misfit earrings

I lost an earring while we were at Six Flags on Saturday. I'm not sure how, but when I was washing my hands in the bathroom at one point I noticed that I was looking rather thug-like with only one disco ball-esque stud. It was sad, but the good thing is that these kinds of earrings are still pretty popular and available at any store, so at least I can replace them. I did, however, take out my remaining earring and carefully zip it up in my pocket for safe keeping.

Upon arriving home, I added the singleton earring to my collection of other single earrings in my jewelry box. And upon doing that, I started thinking and questioning my actions.

Why am I saving these single earrings? What are you supposed to do with matchless earrings? I really can't just throw a perfectly usable earring in the trash, especially when it's one I really like. But then...it's not like I can ever use it again, either. Unless I lose an ear one day! Maybe if I lose an ear, I will suddenly be very thankful that all of these carefully saved single earrings will be of some use again. Yeah. I'll save it for that. But no, seriously. Why do I have a (rapidly growing, it seems) collection of sad little single earrings?

My apologies that that picture is not even remotely focused. It was a long night. But those are just a few of the misfit earrings that I gleaned off the top of my jewelry box to demonstrate my collection. And sure, it's not like all of these unusable earrings are taking up a lot of space or anything...yet. But I sorta have this vision of myself in 40 years and there's this headline like "WOMAN BURIED ALIVE BENEATH TON OF  MATCH-LESS EARRINGS THAT SHE JUST COULDN'T THROW AWAY" and that's kind of a sad way to go. But at least it's a sparkly way?

Anyway. Who can give me some great wisdom about how to solve this situation? You know what the best cure would be? STOP LOSING YOUR EARRINGS, ERIKA. I don't know why I manage to lose so many. It must be my body's intrinsic pirate-ness...everyone knows pirates only wear one earring at a time. Anyone seen any great Pinterest projects that call for a collection of unmatching earrings? That would definitely be the project for me.

OH! Better yet, maybe I should start some kind of webpage where people can post photos of their single earrings and then maybe two people with the same single earring can find each other and work out a deal where one of them sells their earring to the other! Or they could have joint custody? Yeah right. If I ever found the mate to my white feather-ish/leaf-ish looking earring, I would do a number of less-than-legal things to make sure it was MINE ALL MINE and never share it with anyone. Maybe most people aren't as attached to their earrings as I am, though?

Well, there ya go, folks. These are the things that I actually spend my time thinking about. True story.

Other true story: I had a cyst rupture last night. On the positive side, it's the first one since surgery, so at least I've had a nice long reprieve from that special brand of suffering...and also, if it ruptures, that means it can't keep growing and growing and become the size of a lemon and mangle up my Fallopian tube and require surgical removal...so that's good, I guess. On the negative side- well, it hurts like crap. That hasn't changed, evidently. And I have a big event at work tonight that I really need to finish up some things for, so I hauled my sleep-deprived derriere and swollen belly right on in this morning. Yay. I'm walking like I'm about 200 years old (ironically, prior to the rupture last night I'd gone to Zumba Toning and made myself all kinds of sore...so really, most likely I would have been walking like I were elderly today no matter what!) but hoping that time and (lame non-prescription) painkillers will help things feel better quickly.

OH. Other huge News in the Life of Erika. I can't believe I forgot to mention this yesterday. While at Six Flags, in between losing earrings and judging teenagers, I got some cotton candy. Yeah. It was magical, and although I had every intention of getting a picture of me eating it (like this), the truth is that I inhaled it far too quickly and with too much enthusiasm to stop and take a picture. But the ecstasy of those moments lives on in my mind. Oh cotton candy, how delightful you were. It was the pink kind, by the way. As though there is any other kind. And as fluffy and sweet as...umm...as cotton candy. In other words, perfection. And now that I have waxed poetic about my favorite food group, I better peace out.


  1. Oh, I hope you feel better soon. I don't whether to be happy for you that the cyst ruptured or sad that you had another one and are now in intense amounts of pain.

    You single earring website idea is awesome! And hilarious! I see it as bigger than Pinterest and you should totally do it!

  2. "I don't KNOW whether to be..." Stupid fast comment writing and not editing. Sorry.

  3. I have way fewer total earrings than you, I assume, but still have at least that many singletons. What on earth?!
    Count me in for the matching service.

    Also, I realized the other day that my favorite pair was missing completely. How does that even happen? Cause you know I'm not the type to just take out earrings and leave them somewhere all willy-nilly. Fortunately I found them in a zipper pocket of a purse. No idea how they got there though. Also no point to that story. You're welcome.

  4. Oh no! I'm so sorry you had a cyst rupture and were in so much pain!!!

  5. You could turn some of them into necklace pendants? I have saved single earrings with that intention before, though, and never followed through with it... so good luck.

    Sorry about the cyst- glad to hear it didn't stick around, but still, not cool :o/

  6. Oy. Stupid cysts! I am so sorry and hope you're feeling better soon. I too have a little collection of singleton earrings. I sewed one to the center of a pillow (to add some tufted sparkle) and glued an oversized rhinestone one to the ribbons around my wedding bouquet. Those white leaf earrings are my favorite! You should start the match dot com for reuniting lost jewelry pieces just to get that one back!

  7. First, OUCH! I hope you get to feeling better soon.

    Maybe make them into brooches, hair pins, or a collage of some kind??

  8. i'm voting for brooches or necklaces or something for the earrings. and a big fat "that sucks" to the cyst.

    i'm glad it's not still growing though. and that it didn't happen friday night before ruining the most awesome birthday surprise ever.

    if we had good meds for you... well, let's just say i can't say it over the internet. because the feds might get me.

  9. I always keep my missing earrings because in the past month alone I have found two of the matches! Now, that probably won't ever happen again, but it'll at least keep me hanging on to missing earrings for another ten years.

  10. There are some cute single earring necklace ideas on pinterest. I'm pretty boring and I only wear studs. Actually I only wear one pair of studs (diamond solitares that have been passed down. It would be a terrible day if they turned into singletons.)

    Sorry about your cyst. I hope you start feeling better soon! Did I tell you that one of the buffets in Vegas had cotton candy. It was amazing.

  11. I am the queen of losing earrings!!! Oh my gosh. And i keep the single ones too! I mean, i don't want to throw it away! What if i find the other one?! I always get so mad when i realize I've lost yet ANOTHER earring. What is the deal!?

    Sorry about the cyst rupture. :( I hope you feel better quickly!!

  12. Ugh so sorry about the cyst. I'm sure that while painful it's also quite frustrating. Hope you are feeling better today!

  13. My friend's mom buys rings from Hobby Lobby, takes the stick off of old earnings and hot glues the ring part onto it. They are really cute and some of your lonely earnings can be reincarnated!

    Sorry about your cyst! I have heard that is major pain. Feel better soon!

  14. First, ANOTHER CYST RUPTURED?!?!?! What the heck? I don't even understand. You don't have PCOS, why do you get such big, mean, painful cysts? I'm sooooo sorry Erika. I can't imagine how painful that is!

    On a happier note: I feel like I should donate all of my earrings to you since you have such a love of them. I have gobs of earrings that I can't wear because my ears react to EVERYTHING but gold. My ears have expensive tastes, what can I say? I literally wear earrings from 2-3hrs and they are swollen, red, and bleeding. Ugh!

  15. First of all, cotton candy is like my favorite food ever.

    Secondly, so sorry about the cyst rupture and all of the pain that goes along with that.

    Third, I'd turn those earrings into a necklace. You could either make each one an individual pendant on a necklace or put them all together on one chain for a more eclectic effect. Maybe someone already said all of that. I haven't read the comments.


I love comments almost as much as I love Mexican food. Seriously.