Tuesday, July 10, 2012

confession: TV ed.

When I was in high school, American citizenship was a very fickle thing. And by that, I mean that it could be revoked (by my friends...the very same ones I spoke so highly of over the weekend) for the slightest offense or thing deemed un-American. These offenses usually related somehow to pop culture, and your citizenship would not be reinstated until you watched/listened to/saw/did whatever it was you were not previously doing.

Personal example: "You haven't seen The American President? You aren't American. You are Pakistani until you watch it." And obviously I rented it that very weekend, because no offense to any citizens of Pakistan that may be reading this, but I really enjoy being an American and wanted to resume my normal status as quickly as possible. (Note: upon losing your citizenship, you would sometimes be given a new citizenship (such as Pakistani, in my case), or just a general political category ("you are communist"), or just...nothing. And who wants to be nothing?)

So maybe my friends (and I, by association, I suppose) were a little weird. But you have to admit that sometimes you just feel downright alienated and un-American by not participating in something extremely popular and celebrated by everyone you know.

Which brings me to today's confession. I just feel the need to get this out in public, because I can't live a lie anymore. A lie of omission, of course. I've never pretended I'm in on this particular trend...I just try to not mention that I've totally missed the whole boat. And I may or may not nod and smile like I know what people are talking about when this particular topic comes up. So maybe that's like a tiny bit of a lie. Surely you can forgive me, though. And reinstate my American citizenship.

I have never watched The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.

There it is. Whew. It feels good to get that one off my chest.

Never. Not a single rose-filled episode. Nada.

How did I manage to miss this particular phenomenon? I am possibly the only person in my demographic (which appears to be the target demographic for the show itself) I've ever met who has managed to fall through the cracks on these shows. It is particularly strange because in general, I like reality TV. So it's not like I'm opposed to the genre or anything. And it's even more awkward because people expect that I watch the show. And I can't blame them. Hey, if you enjoy passing the time with the Real Housewives of New Jersey...you probably watch any drama-filled reality vomit that makes it to your satellite, right? So last night, when my sister-in-law (whose birthday is today-HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!) randomly texted me to chat about the show, I felt so ashamed to have to say "I don't watch it. I never have. I have no idea what you're talking about." And then make 15 sad faces because HELLO-- who am I and why am I living a perpetual Bachelor(ette)-free existence?

I feel like someone is going to revoke my citizenship. Which is really unfortunate, since I just paid like $130 for a new passport. Bah.

So I asked my SIL and I'm asking you: tell me when the next season starts. One would think I could find out this info on my own, but apparently that's giving me too much credit...if I've missed it all these years, I'll probably continue missing the memo. Also, give me some compelling reasons why I should watch it. What's it have that other shows lack? (Current shows I'm actually keeping up with: ummm...none. Yard Crashers, the Suze Orman Show, and Shark Tank. Exciting stuff, right? But at other times, I've been much more diligent with my shows.) And on the off chance that I have any kindred souls out there (non-watchers)...tell me that I'm not alone, and we can all be citizens of (insert exotic island nation here) together when they kick us out of America.

20 comments:

  1. I used to watch but gave up a few seasons ago- I wish you had started watching in the earlier days when it wasn't quite so scripted-sounding and unbelievable, but you still definitely need to give it a try!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Apparently I need my American citizenship revoked too! I have never seen an episode of either of those two shows!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hooray for Tuesday confession posts! And yes, you need to jump on that bandwagon at least for one season, just so you can say you did it. I will warn you though that the next season will be The Bachelor, which means it will be filled with trashy, desperate girls... definitely entertaining, but I am partial to The Bachelorette since there is slightly less drama.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've never seen either one. Then again, I've never seen a lot of shows. I haven't had any TV for about 5 years now. I've watched a few shows here and there when I'm at someone else's house or on my computer, but mostly I watch old shows that I used to love and movies.

    I'm guessing I should have my citizenship revoked big time and I'd be left in that "nothing" category...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like these confession posts! I might steal this idea for my blog. Giving you credit of course! :) I don't watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette either. I have seen a few episodes but it's not really my thing. I love a good reality show but I guess these two just seem a little fake/scripted etc.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't watch them either!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with Alison that the Bachelorette is better. I don't watch it every season - often just the summer ones when not much else is on. I like it because I find all the awkwardness and idiocy highly entertaining. I've never watched the Real Housewives, but I would guess they have that in common. I will be happy to let you know when the next season is starting. And to have a full conversation with you if you need more convincing after today.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've never seen it. I watch way more important things like American Ninja Warrior. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I haven't lived in a house with a TV that gets actual channels since 1995. (We did have a TV from 1997-2002 but we only used it for watching movies. And I also had one for a bit in 2007 but again, only for watching TV on DVD.) Now that we can watch movies and TV on DVD on our computers we just don't feel the need for one. So I've never seen any of these shows. Sometimes at my aunt's house I've watched the Home Reality Shows like "Love It or Leave It" but that might actually be the only reality show I've ever watched.

    Since I'm Canadian you can't revoke my citizenship but I'm pretty much back in the dark age days when it comes to reality TV. No Survivor. No Amazing Race. No Bachelor(ette). Nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Okay.. So I'm totally a reality show fanatic/junkie and I can say (from the .5 minutes that I watched) you aren't missing anything.

    Now Big Brother? That starts this Thursday? THAT is some good American stuff. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm in exile with you then.. I've not seen either of those!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Never watched either, either:)!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Please, Don't bother . . . . .it is just sad!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I, too, have never seen either of these awful shows. But I think I should become Pakistani before you, as most of this season was filmed in my hometown of Charlotte. Boooo, way for a great town to be ruined by an awful show.

    ReplyDelete
  15. We are absolutely getting you on board with this show! I must like your blogging to even continue reading after this confession ;) I kid. I kid.

    Trust me - I'll be here with bells on when the next season stars!

    I love it. AND - I love Suze Orman and Shark Tank, so it's not like I'm a complete drama filled reality loving show girl. I do have some street cred!

    I have no good reason as to why you should watch it - I'm obsessed and I don't even know why. But you should watch!

    Maybe even try to catch the end of this season - I have a huge girl crus on Emily this season...try to watch this coming Monday and then the final episode Sunday, the 22nd! Let me know what you think!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well, I have occasionally watched both, but haven't for a few seasons because I was scarred after Jake picked Vienna over Tinley. But he turned out to be a jerk anyway, so she's better off.

    But, I have watched a few of this season's episodes and I really like Emily and she cemented it when she chose to forgo the "Fantasy Suite." Props to her.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don't watch either. I prefer shows about Mormons, gypsys, Amish, etc. or River Monsters.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't watch either. I prefer shows about Mormons, gypsys, Amish, etc. or River Monsters.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I don't watch either. I prefer shows about Mormons, gypsys, Amish, etc. or River Monsters.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I discovered today that somehow I (Stephanie B) was logged in as my husband. (Daddyof5 or something.) SORRY!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments almost as much as I love Mexican food. Seriously.