Tuesday, April 15, 2014

living the resistance

You probably think I'm pretty normal. Typical. As far as culture and lifestyle choices for the society I inhabit, I don't really stand out. I look, talk, shop, and dress like pretty much everyone else. 

But deep in my heart, I'm a rebel. Every day I live out my tiny, secret resistance. And nobody knows. Well, until now.

Behold: my one-woman cultural resistance against...against nothing. I don't even have a cause I'm carrying a banner for. These are just the things that have come to light in recent (or not-so-recent) days that apparently make me 'different' (I prefer to think of it as 'special') from most of the other folks in my peer group. Ha.

1. I haven't seen Frozen.

AND-- I've never even heard the song 'Let it Go.' I KNOW. Some of you are probably jealous, based on how much people complain on Facebook about being sick of that song. I don't know why anyone would be shocked that I haven't seen Frozen, really. I don't have kids. I don't babysit. We're firmly in camp DINK, even if not by choice, and camp DINK doesn't choose to spend $25 and a Saturday night being camped out in a movie theater full of crying three-year-olds who have to run past your legs to the potty every 12 seconds. To be honest, I have no problem with Frozen and have every intention of seeing it. I'm sure I'll love it, just like I love all the other Disney movies. It's just that people seem utterly shocked when they hear I haven't seen it yet. Really? Really. Okay then.

2. I haven't upgraded the operating system on my iPhone.

That's right, kiddos. Take a walk down memory lane. Look at those lovely old icons! The dull, non-cartoonish colors!! A few weeks ago, a coworker noticed my phone and practically weeped as she begged to scroll through my icons and folders, reminiscing about the good old days. Apparently my phone is some kind of museum now. Whatever. I mean, I didn't upgrade when the new OS first came out because I figured there'd be tons of bugs and it would be annoying. I wanted to wait a few weeks to get the kinks worked out. Now we're past the point of waiting...I'll probably just keep rocking this OS until I get a new phone (in like, a year). Why mess with a good thing? 

3. I haven't read Harry Potter.

Pretty much the only reason I'm still holding out on this one is to bother my friend Mollyanne. Ha. No one on earth cares about anything as much as Mollyanne cares that I haven't read Harry Potter. I wouldn't want to take that away from her. I'm not sure how I slipped through the cracks on this one, really. I have nothing against them. I'm 100% sure I'd love them, as they're right up my YA-loving alley. I think the main fear is that I know that once I start, it'll take a long time to get through all 7 of them (7? Right?) and in the meantime, think of all the other books I won't be able to read? Opportunity cost? I don't know. It doesn't make much sense, really. I need to do it. If I had them on Kindle, I'd be much more likely to make the commitment, because like...those books are really big, and if I have to get them in hardback from the library...ugh. Huge. Who wants to lug that around for weeks on end? Not me. Wah wah wah.

4. I've never played Candy Crush.

I know!!! What did I DOOOOO with my life all those months that everyone else on earth did NOTHING BUT PLAY CANDY CRUSH ALL THE TIME?? I don't know. Probably sit alone and catch up on some five-year-old cultural phenomenon I'd missed out on the first time around. I really have no regrets on this one. How could I regret not having wasted dozens of hours on a phone game? Exactly. I don't plan to catch up on this one, either. 

I would feel a lot more high and mighty about this particular one except that last night I downloaded 2048. So...now I'm like one for two on Super Addictive Phone Games, I guess. Oh well. For the record, 2048 is awesome and I feel like it's a more intelligent game than CC, so I give myself props for that. I mean, there're numbers. Math? Right? Right. Also, although I've played quite a few rounds of 2048 by now, I'm still not entirely sure I understand what I'm doing. That's bad, right? Like, I get it? But then...sometimes the blocks all do something I didn't expect, which makes me think...maybe I don't actually get it. Oh well. I'll keep trying anyway. What's a good score? I have no basis for comparison here, so I'm not sure if I'm even doing good or not. Help me out, other sell-out people!

5. I do not and WILL NOT 'put a bird on it.'

SERIOUSLY, people of America. STOP ALREADY WITH THE CUTESY BIRDS ON EVERYTHING. This particular resistance is becoming increasingly hard to maintain, since I don't happen to make all of my own clothing, accessories, and home decor. But maybe I should. Or maybe I'll have to start looking at vintage stores to find a tshirt that doesn't have a damn 'adorable' owl on it somewhere. Good GRIEF! Staying strong on this issue was particularly vexing when we were trying to get the nursery ready in the fall. HOLY COW. Finding a non-bird-emblazoned baby item was next to impossible. It's gross. I can't wait for everyone else to move on past this sick obsession with gross, germy, hateful, disgusting air rodents.

 In fact, I think that I'll just go hole up in a cave with a stack of Harry Potter books, a Frozen DVD, and 2048...yall let me know when the world has gotten over birds and moved on to the next big thing that I'll probably miss out on. Thanks! 


  1. Up until last week (when I finally upgraded my operating system after getting nasty grams from our IT department), I was 100% with you on ALL OF THESE THINGS. Never seen Frozen; only read 1 Harry Potter (and it was in Spanish, so it's not like I absorbed much - I hardly know wizard references in English, geez); never played Candy Crush (and, in fact, hid everything about it on FB b/c it annoyed me); and I don't even understand your bird reference so I doubt I do this! :)

  2. 1. I have not watched Frozen either and my boys have no interest...gasp! That song...no idea, never heard it!
    2. I upgraded and I'm used to the icons.
    3. Thought I was the only human who hasn't read HP!
    4. I'll admit here to CC, but now I'm so bored of it I never play.
    5. Right there with you, sista! Will not ever buy stuff with birds!!! They are NOT cute!

  3. I'm with you on all of these (havent seen frozen either, played candy crush, have old phone) except Harry potter!!! Silly muggle! Go read them now! Haha- just wanted to nerd it up for a second there!

  4. We own Frozen and I haven't seen it (back to napping during movies). But I do know the songs, oh boy do I know the songs. I tried reading Harry Potter to Janie last year. She was super bored and gave up after chapter 1 so we went back to The Little House on the Prairie books.

  5. Ha ha ha... I'm pro all of your forms of rebellion EXCEPT Harry Potter. I still don't understand how you've lived the last 20 years without HP. It's a crime against humanity and an unneeded punishment of yourself. So sad. But look at all these other non-HP fans... y'all are coming out of the woodwork. My heart hurts for you all.

    But really, what's the deal with Frozen. I like just about every Disney movie ever made, but I don't remember ANY movie creating this much stir... so wild.

  6. 1. I haven't seen Frozen. But I finally heard the "Let It Go" song last week after I linked over to some You Tube video where a guy does a mash-up of the song in different Disney/Pixar voices (it's pretty cool, check it out).
    2. I don't own an iPhone, so for what it's worth, I haven't upgraded to the new OS either.
    3. I still haven't (and probably never will) read Harry Potter. I've seen the first two movies, but that's where my HP experience ends.
    4. I have played Candy Crush, but never reached the level of addiction. I don't like games that make it impossible to "win" or move to the next level...waste of my time (and a huge source of frustration--games should not cause that much stress!).
    5. I've noticed the owl thing on a lot of baby clothes/accessories lately, but didn't realize birds have taken over adult stuff too. Looks like you're not the only one who will protest all things birds--we'll form an anti-aviary army!

  7. 1. Frozen is awesome. The only reason I saw it is because it was our company Christmas outing. But I'm really glad I saw it. AND I love Let It Go, but probably only because I don't have kids that want to listen to it 1,000 times a day.

    2. You should read HP. You would love it and become obsessed and start listening to podcasts about it too.

    3. I have played Candy Crush, but to me, it's only bejeweled, so I don't get all the hype.

  8. 1. The only reason I have heard Let It Go (haven't seen Frozen) is because of my students.

    3. I'm skipping to HP because I myself just got a new iPhone, but I don't love it so I can't say anything. HP- having read all the books and the HP being my favorite book series BY FAR, I can say I honestly understand not wanting to read them because you will not be able to stop. Or at least I couldn't.

    4. I don't get the Candy Crusy phenomenon either.

  9. Record this day in history: our twin status is officially dead. Oh noes! I am shamelessly involved with all five and Little Buddy has a woodland themed nursery, including owls. Oops! :-)

    I held out on two through four for a LONG time, though! I accidentally upgrades my OS in February and was very upset for a few days. But then I got used to it and started noticing the benefits of the new system, particularly in the text, siri, and text to speak functions. I didn't start reading HP until after the second movie came out and didn't start Candy Crush until November last year. Unfortunately, both HP and CC are completely addicting. :-)

  10. I'm with you on 1 (although it was playing in the background at a birthday party we attended, and I have most definitely heard that irritating song despite not seeing the movie), 3, and 4! Can't agree with you on #5 because DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART YOU KNOW OWLS ARE CUTE. And WHEN you became a parent, regardless of the gender of your child, I will have no choice but to send some sort of owl attire for him/her!

  11. Ooops! I am sorry that I haven't helped with the Frozen situation yet. I have it on my calendar to bring to you (and Frozen may be extra enjoyed with a frozen beverage...just saying.) Harry Potter-I resisted the bandwagon until after the last book came out, which was pretty sweet because I FLEW through them--great summer pool/beach/backyard air mattress/porch reads.

  12. 1. I have not seen frozen either or heard that song.
    2. I haven't crossed over to the iphone world yet. I may consider it on the next upgrade.
    3. No Harry Potter for me either. I don't think I'd like it.
    4. I was on the candy crush bandwagon but once I couldn't beat any more levels I kind of just quit. Maybe I'll check out this 2048 game.
    5. I'm guessing your bird thing has to do with you not liking this. haha But I must be missing something here because I haven't really noticed this trend? Oh wait......I do have a pillow for my bed that has a couple birds on it. Oh no I am one of those people..yikes!!

  13. I have a 2-year-old little girl and I have not seen Frozen either! Everyone is so surprised, but she's not old enough to sit through a movie and I'm sure not wasting a date night on a Disney movie. We also don't rush-out-and-buy-the-next-big-craze every time a Disney movie is released. Mostly b/c I find it annoying that everyone was acting like it was the best thing since sliced bread. Confession: The Easter Bunny does have a copy that will be in her Easter basket Sunday, but b/c there is no Ariel or Cinderella on the cover, it will probably not get watched for quite some time.

  14. The fact that you have so many unopened items on your screen gives me anxiety and makes my mouth do that dry/salivating/about to throw up thing. I just can't.

  15. I'm with you on most of this. I have update my iPhone, but I think that was mostly an accident. It is an iPhone 4 though. Not a 4s, or anything. You can barely even buy a charger for it anymore. And no Frozen, although one of my students did tell me I look like Elsa today, which I'm pretty sure is a high compliment from a 6 year old girl! So I'll take it! And no Harry Potter. I asked for them when they first came out for Christmas. My aunt gave me the first 4. My mom heard they were the devil and wouldn't let me read them. This happened right as EVERYONE found out about how "brilliant" they were and you couldn't find them on a shelf. I sold them to members of my 5th grade class and made nearly $100. Overbearing mother for the win!

  16. Well I love birds and even I am getting sick of seeing them everywhere! And I also haven't played Candy Crush - my blog keeps me busy enough!

  17. I have only seen about 5 minutes of Frozen but I have heard that annoying song several times and let's just say once is enough.

    Never read HP!

    Never played CC!

    I'm neutral on the bird topic. . . take em or leave em. :)

  18. It sounds like Mollyanne just needs to buy you this first harry potter book on kindle then so you can start reading! You would definitely have a long ways to go but ITS SO WORTH IT! :)

    I've never played candy crush either! I'm not really into the app games.

    Do you watch Portlandia?! They have a skit called "put a bird on it" making fun of that very thing :) So funny!!

    1. Oh believe me, there are plans in the works. I'm just hoping to get her to read them without actually spending any money. :)

  19. I haven't seen frozen. I never played Candy Crush and I haven't upgraded my OS in a while. However, my OS is more recent than yours. Oh...I also haven't read Harry Potter. I'm ambivalent about the birds. Maybe I'm not shopping enough because I feel like I haven't seen them. I LOVED this post. Thanks:-)

  20. I haven't seen Frozen, haven't read the HP books and haven't played Candy Crush. We so would be friends in real life!

  21. You are such an owl hater and I hope they take revenge on you by swooping down and attacking your hair when you're not expecting it!!

    Also, I've never seen Frozen, played Candy Crush, or read Harry Potter either. I have also never read or seen The Hunger Games, so take that!

  22. Now that you've publicly called me out and everything, you only strengthen my resolve. If you know you'll enjoy it, and you know there are free paperback versions available, why not give it a try? They really won't take as long as you seem to think. I will even watch each movie with you after you finish each book. I feel like maybe I should start springing bird paraphernalia on you whenever I see you until you give in. I'm thinking that would either be highly successful motivation or you would stop being my friend altogether.

  23. Haha! I've never read Harry Potter or played Candy Crush, either...and don't intend to. However, (don't hate me), I am one of those that loves the birds. And owls. And, I even recently rescued a bird from my cat and he's living in my house until he grows his tail feathers back!
    Oh, and as far as smartphones- I didn't even own one until just this year! Amazing, right?! My hubby and I resisted for as long as possible.

  24. I'm with you on all of these except #3. I firmly resisted the iPhone thing but then my husband took it while I wasn't looking and did the update for me...which resulted in an accidental deletion of some of my notes and stuff. NOT happy about that.

  25. Hahaha! I was with you right up until the birds. I love birds and bird things. I don't know why...I just think they're cute. :)

  26. 1. So glad you joined the 2048 craze ! It is more "intellectual" than CCS, at least that's what I tell myself. I hope you figured out the goal. If you want, I'll share with you the trick (technique?) to really get high scores. My current high is 14,000 something but I'm working on breaking that shortly. I want to beat it!

    2. Frozen is overrated. Everyone kept saying it was just as good as the Disney Renaissance movies - Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast, Lion King, etc. DO NOT BELIEVE THIS. It's cute, the music is decent, good message... but it ain't no Lion King. PERIOD.

    3. I now think of you when I see decorative birds and owls.

    4. I didn't even notice your outdated IOS because all I could see is all your red balls! And I thought that was going to be your big confession here. I cannot stand red balls on my screen... I'm not a neat freak in real life, but when it comes to my phone, the red balls must be abolished at all costs. That's why I'm so particular with who I choose to start WWF games with... I really hate when it's my turn, because, RED BALL ALERT! I even put the game on my second screen so I can't see it right away if I don't have time to make a move. Yes, I'm that crazy. Or rather, that anti-red ball.

    5. I'm with you on Harry Potter all the way... it's sort of like a cult, and in a way I'm happy not to be part of it. But still, every time I go to the library I think of starting. In a way, it's nice because the books are all written and you don't have to wait. But what about the movies?! I hear they're just as good, or in some cases better, than the books. So not only are you stuck committing days (WEEKS?!) to reading, but you're also stuck with like a bajillion hours worth of movie watching. It's so much!

    I realize this comment has a lot of arbitrary capitalization. Sorry, I guess I'm feeling emphatic?

  27. Frozen is sacred, beloved ground for a three year old. Like, it's kinda creepy how much kids like it. I would say it is one of the better Disney movies of the "princess" category.

    And have you watched the Portlandia skit, "put a bird on it?" Or any Portlandia skit? They're hilarious. I'm particularly fond of "Put a bird on it" and "Dream of the 90's."

  28. I only watched Frozen once but other than that, and Cars, we have not introduced our kids to any Disney movies. And I don't remember any of the songs because we did not buy the soundtrack.

    I don't even have a smart phone so I'm really bucking that trend.

    I will send you the first Harry Potter as a paperback. It's not that heavy and it would be a good summer afternoon read.

    I was on the CC train. Now I'm on the 2048 train, thanks to your IG post over the weekend.

    Rachel loves and adores owls so she has a lot of clothes with them on it and I won't invite you to her birthday this year since it is owl themed. If I didn't have Rachel I would probably care less about this trend.


I love comments almost as much as I love Mexican food. Seriously.