Monday, July 2, 2012

bangin'

 Warning: I cannot be held responsible for writing and sharing this post. I blame the extremely ridiculously obnoxiously hot weather. Your eyes are not going to be able to un-see what they're about to witness, and for that I apologize. Proceed with caution.


I've been wearing bangs for a good bit of my life. I had them from birth (or whenever I first grew hair, I suppose) until the summer before 8th grade, then took the long-hair-no-bangs route for about the next ten or twelve years, and now have had bangs for another five-ish years (got them again shortly after we got married). Like all other forms of fashion, bangs go through seasons of popularity- and even within those seasons, the styles evolve.

"Style" being a subjective term.

 During my early and formative fashion years, the "style" (or at least my style) was the big feathered bangs. Anyone remember these? I tried to find some (already scanned, cause no way in HADES am I going into my oven attic to dig out better ones) pictures showcasing the Big Bangs of the 90s:


As you can tell from that second picture, I was frequently rocking a perm as well...no doubt the reason I was sooooo popular and had sooooo many boyfriends. HAHAHAHA. Bless my heart. (Also, I was about 9 feet tall in 5th grade. That wasn't awkward at all. And by 9 feet tall, I mean 5'7...the same as I am now...only I was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.)
Current day bangs. Probably need a trim, but basically look like this.

Anyways, luckily, in more recent years my bangs have been much more socially acceptable (at least by today's standards, but who knows what I'll think about them looking back in 20 years!)...but for some reason, over the last week or so, I've had a recurring thought pass through my mind (blame the heat): I wonder if I could still get my bangs to do that?

Why I would want them to look like that? No idea. It looked bad then, it's probably gonna look bad now. But it's just been weighing heavy on my mind. EMBRACE THE 90s AGAIN, ERIKA!!!! At least this time around I already have the boy, so there's one less burden on my mind, right?

So yesterday it was about one zillion degrees outside (okay, actually it was only 108...not that you can tell the difference) and upon running out of things to do indoors, I decided to make all my dreams come true and bring back my 90s bangs. It was crazy how all the steps just came back to me, like I'd never stopped teasing them in the first place. And I made a tutorial for you, in case you find yourself wanting to do the same...because I think the results speak for themselves.

Step 1: Split your bangs into two halves- top and bottom.

Step 2: Curl the top section backwards. Give it a spritz of hairspray (Aquanet if you have it, which I didn't, but that would be highly preferred by Southern girls of the 90s)-- these bangs will need some help to stay high and proud!
  
Step 3: Curl bottom section down; spray.

Step 4: Use fingers and comb and more hairspray to tease to desired height. 
 Step 5: Laugh your face off when unsuspecting husband comes into bathroom and looks at you with horror, saying "Are they REAL??" Remind him that all good Southern women live by the mantra the higher the hair, the closer to God, and you're just doing your part to remain close to God.
Step 6: Continue laughing, posing, and snapping pictures of yourself until you lose interest and spray down bangs with water to resume Normal 2012 Bangs.

Step 7: Post pictures on the internet to make a fool out of yourself.

Done and done. 

What awesome fashion trend from the past should I re-visit next?? A perm? An open flannel shirt over every outfit? Purchasing all future t-shirts in a XXL? So many choices, so little time... 

22 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness my mom, sisters and I all rocked the feathered bangs back in the day. It is hilarious looking at some of our old family Christmas photos. What were we thinking??? I also rocked the tall layered socks with K swiss tennis shoes. I. Was. So. Cool. :)

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  2. oh my gosh... you are a nut! i am cracking up that this is what you did out of boredom, haha! i used to curl my bangs with a big curling iron and spray the mess out of them... those babies weren't moving! good ole' 90's hair. thanks for the laugh!

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  3. Hahaha this is awesome! You look like a Mormon sister wife!

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  4. This is awesome AND disturbing... also, I wonder how many inappropriate hits your blog will get thanks to this post title!

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  5. Bahahahaha...feathered bangs and perm...check. I did both and thanks for being brave and posting pictures. I posted an old school picture where I have a scrunchie ON TOP of my head...oy vey. I have lots of pictures like you posted and I was quite taller than everyone else too! Except I grew to 5'11.

    Did you rock the double socks? You know, where they are different colors?

    Anyway..this was an awesome blast-from-the-past post. Stay cool!

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  6. Oh, Erika. You really shouldn't have. Now you're just missing braces and gold wire-rimmed glasses.

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  7. Erika. You just made my day, maybe even my whole week. LOL! Happy 4th of July to you, Matt & Lola! =)

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  8. You know, I was just looking for a tutorial for AWESOME hair. Nailed it!

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  9. bahahahaha I never had THE BANGS, but I'm so thankful that you gave me a tutorial on how-to! Pinning!

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  10. oh my word! hilarious! i was especially digging the pink calf high socks. i bet you got awesome tan lines with those! i know i did. how about rocking some tapered jeans next? (not to be confused with skinny jeans.)

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  11. You look just like your mother! hahahahah Killing me!

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  12. Large t-shirt and stirrup pants! Add a vest if you're feeling crazy!

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  13. this is great! Amazing how different you look with the "teased" look!

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  14. YES!! I laughed so hard my husband asked me what was going on! LOVE it!!

    And I totally rocked the perm/big bangs too:)

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  15. Man, I haven't laughed that long in a good while..thanks!

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  16. *cackle, snort*

    I rocked some big huge bangs too... except I didn't learn the fine art of curling until 6th or 7th grade, so I just had cowlick-y feathered bangs for a while.

    It's been awhile since I have had bangs, looking for hair inspiration. Shall I pin you? LOL

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  17. I think I just peed myself....and, you had a horse poster. I had a horse poster. I used to think that I was supposed to be a horse person but then riding one as of late felt like being punched in the crotch.. So there's that...

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  18. Hilarious . . . . . . seriously hilarious!

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  19. Awesome! I can't believe how different you look with your feathered bangs. I think I like your current look better :)

    And heaven help us all if the 80s/early 90s style ever come back into fashion...

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  20. A-mazing. My mom never let me have bangs during that era. I should thank her for that. And... Flannel shirts/plaid shirts are kinda in right now. (see urban outfitters.) actually many 90's era things have made a reappearance, albeit modernized. The jean top and skirt bottom dress! Remember those? Oh yeah... You can get yourself one at forever 21. Huge tshirts. Jean cutoffs with the pockets hanging out the bottom. Neon. Lots of 90's going on right now. ;)

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  21. Oh you do have me laughing out loud at this post, I so remember these bangs and my mother insisting she do mine before leaving the house! Good times!

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